The $39 million man is worth every penny
With his move to Boston (and the AL), Shane Victorino has selfishly (praise Beltran) deprived Mets fans of his GIF-worthy antics. I would have loved to have seen him in a Mets uniform, but I enjoy seeing things that make people’s heads explode. Unfortunately, the Red Sox were far more desperate for a circus act after letting Bobby Valentine seek other employment, leading them to offer twice as much money as any sane person was expecting Victorino to get after a down season. Instead of Citi Field, we will have to settle for Fenway as the backdrop for the next batch of Victorino GIFs. And yes, there will be GIFs. While we were waiting for the home run derby in Philadelphia to end, I got to work on this spectacular display of teamwork.
And to think, Boston fans have three years of this to look forward to! Three years of spills, chills, mixups, and takedowns. In a way, I envy them. Sure, Jordany Valdespin has a knack for displays of momentary boneheadedness offset by occasional brilliance. But Valdespin isn’t getting paid enough to guarantee regular playing time. With Ellsbury in center, what could have been a disaster turns into a mere embarrassment. But with Valdespin in his place? You could sell tickets based on that alone.
There’s really no point to this beyond me not wanting to wait until next year’s GIF roundup to post this. And come on, this is pure brilliance. Victorino freezing in place as if to make himself invisible is what really sells this one. He didn’t try to make the catch or go after the ball when it dropped. He just curled up and disappeared. He’s on to us, you see. He knew the GIFs were coming and did his best to avoid making a scene. Shane Victorino is a GIF magnet. This is his blessing and his curse. And we are all better off because of it.
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